Book Review: Murder on the Orient Express: A Hercule Poirot Mystery by Agatha Christie

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Imagine yourself getting on a train, a beautiful train by the way, and while you're on your way to wherever you're going, a murder happens. Now the thing is: you don't know who did it. Who was the one who killed this man who was involved in a murder case a long time ago? Why was he stabbed 12 times?

That is was Hercule Poirot was faced with when M. Rachett (first of all, can we talk about the name? Rachett...like it was funny to me because it sounded like rachet) is found dead in his compartment, and was stabbed 12 times. Each passenger-The Wagon Lit Conductor, Secretary, Valet, American Lady, Swedish Lady, Russian Princess, Count and Countess Andrenyi, Colonel Arbuthnot, Mr. Hardman, the Italian, Miss Debenham, and the German Lady's Maid.

Of course, the Wagon Lit Conductor, Secretary and the Valet was off the suspect list. Mr. Hardman was off it too-he was part of a Private Investigation group. So that left the American and Swedish Ladies, the Russian Princess, Count and Countess Andrenyi, Colonel Arbuthnot, the Italian, Miss Debenham, and the German Lady's Maid...

Which one of them did it?

Well this is the part that shook me: ALL OF THEM DID IT.

It was planned out and I was honestly pointing fingers at the Russian Princess, thinking she was the one who did it, then Miss Debenham which I thought was a total liar all together, but when Poirot came up with that whole conclusion that everyone did it, I was shooketh-TOTALLY SHOOKETH. But I loved this book and all the twist and turns and my wild theories...I love them.

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Book Review: The Darkest Torment (Lords of the Underworld) by Gena Showalter

The Darkest Torment by Gena Showalter
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Y'all...this book right here...

THIS BOOK GOT ME THIRSTY AF.

A book never had gotten me thirsty-never. As I sit here and think about it, nearly all the books I've read either made me want to rage or get me excited, but never, not in a million years, have a book made me thirsty until now. It's a modern day beauty and the beast, but with hellhounds, Hades being a total dick and love-sans the dancing part that I was looking for, and throw in the asshole half-immortal husband and you got yourself a book.

So this book is about Baden (who is NOT Jamie Fraser. Sadly. He dosen't talk in that sexy accent...dammit) BUT anywho Baden has the demon of Destruction inside him, along with the bands around his arms that forces him to do everything Hades does, earning him the title "Hades Bitch" (in which I don't like because he's not a bitch). First thing Hades tasks him with-get his coin. So he flashes to a church, where a wedding was taken place between Katarina Joelle and an asshole that I will not name (okay, it's Alekander...dammit).

A huge fight ensuses, and Baden demands that Alekander gives him the coin. Aleksander's stupid-ass said no, so Baden decided to take Katarina as his bride. Soon the two fall in love, and honestly it's so cute that she was secretly training him like one of her dogs and saying that she failed before she took her dogs-

SPEAKING OF DOGS...

Katarina adopted two dogs named Biscuit and Gravy-THAT ARE HELLHOUNDS MIND YOU, and now I want some hellhounds...*Waluigi's Wah insert here*-and they bit her, and she is now part of the Hellhound pack and also calls Baden and Distruction Baduction (which is a cute name).

BUT BY GOLLY THE SEX SCENES IN THIS BOOK. Normally I don't read books for the steamy sex scenes-sure I get a party in my pants but then it fades. THIS BOOK'S SCENES THOUGH...OH SWEET MERCIFUL BABY JESUS I CAN'T. The thirst I can't even....

But in the end, they live happily ever after..while another girl marries a goat and Cameo starts looking for Lazarus. Okay then...

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Book Review: Dark Blood, A Carpathian Novel by Christine Feehan

Dark Blood by Christine Feehan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So...book three of THIS BOOK BROKE ME AS WELL...

This was a really good book-it honestly surprised me, mostly because of the spells they used (I got jealous because I can't write spells as well as Christine can) and how Zev had Branislava choose to be with him, and had a fear of caging her if they mated (which they did). That was honestly the thing that made me give this book more stars.

The banter between him, Dimitri, and Fen was funny, including their lifemates were pretty funny. But when you add demons and hellhounds...well, now you got me intrigued. *Insert Jason Momoa chair gif here* But the thing that broke me was Branislava and Tatijana's horrible past, locked up as dragons behind ice and saw everything their father and his twins brothers done and knew every spell they did and I almost cried and felt sorry for them because they saw every horrible thing their father had ever done, and then I got proud when Branka got stronger each time she unraveled his dark magic, his shadow, before he actually did anything bad.

And the scene that made me cry was the couples dancing in the forest clearing..THAT BROKE ME (the final fight broke me too). I mean, the couples and the children, they were so cute dancing around, that small moment before all hell broke loose (and I mean, all hell broke loose).

But the ending, when those three High Mages summoned Hemming, Zev's grandfather...OW MY HEART. That hurt so much. And he was wrapped in silver chains? Owwwie ow ow ow. And he didn't have long, so Branka took off the chains and he talked till he died...but ow that hurt so much. I think now when senior characters die, it makes me think of my grandmother that passed away. I mean, she's been gone for a couple year now, but it still hurts though...

Other than that, I loved it and the feels and PEOPLE BREAKING ME but I'm okay now..till the next book that may or may not break me.

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Book Review: City of Glass, a Shadowhunter Novel by Cassandra Clare

City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ah yes, book three of the Mortal Instruments.......

THIS BOOK BROKE ME AS WELL.

Like it shouldn't, but the more I read this book, THIS BOOK BROKE ME AND MY SON JACE. Why don't we name this book How Many Rages Can Brittany and Jace Go Through Before They Are Officially Broken?. Because I raged so much at this book, and it broke me to the core-I was SHOOKETH. SHOOKETH I TELL YA, SHOOKETH TO THE CORES. It didn't do well for my rage because I kept raging each time something bad happens. Like for example, Valentine's stupid-ass kept an angel in the Wayland manor, and it showed both Clary and Jace what happened while he was chained up and used by Valentine for his damned experiments, then Simon being locked up by the Gard when the new Inquisitor, Inquisitor Aldertree, not believing him when he explained how he was turned into a vampire (turned into a rat thanks to one of the drinks at Magnus's party), then on the boat drank Jace's blood to be a Daywalker.

But while he was in prison, Raphael visited him in prison using a projection to talk to him, and then the thing that broke me number one: SIMON WAS TALKING TO HODGE, WHO WAS IN THE NEXT CELL OMG. Then when he escaped he was killed by Sebastian Verlac, who I was going to adopt, but I changed my mind when me and Jace found out that his name was truly Jonathan Morgenstern-aka Sebastian Morgenstern. So Jace isn't truly a Morgenstern or a half-demon, he's just Jace Wayland (which silently killed him, by the way)

And the announcement Clary made in front of the Clave about what Valentine was planning and showed them the rune was brave-and also JOCELYN WOKE UP AWWEEE YISS.

Also, MY SHIP KISSED.

THAT'S RIGHT. MALEC KISSED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND I CLAPPED BECAUSE DAMMIT, MAGNUS AND ALEC DESERVES EVERYTHING FOR THEM.

But the battle was honestly stupid, because one, the demons was just following Valentine's orders, and secondly the *iconic* move that Isabelle did when she cut off Sebastian's hand off-SO ICONIC. I felt sorry for Clary when her own father kidnapped her and put a slient rune on her and some magical chains that kept her there as she watched him summon the angel Raziel and watch him kill him, then wished for Jace to come back after she learned that she and Jace are not brother and sister.

And the story Jocelyn told Clary about her relationship with Valentine, what happened to her and Sebastian/Jonathan and then Jace's real family...like ow. Seriously. just ow.

And then the ending with Jace's letter. I sobbed. Because he wrote to her, saying that he's going after Sebastian, and wanted to tell her that he loved her before he did.

And also, before I forget, R.I.P. Max Lightwood. Fuck you, Sebastian Morgenstern.

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Book Review: City of Ashes, A Shadowhunters Novel by Cassandra Clare

Oh gosh hi guys! I haven't been on here for a while-school (or college) had taken up my life last year since I started, and I couldn't get a time to sit down and write out a full-fledged book review till now...in the three weeks that we've been in 2019...but since I'm done with two books of the Mortal Instruments, City of Ashes.


City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Book two of the Mortal Instruments...what can I say about it? All except THIS BOOK BROKE ME. Most books don't break me often, but after re-reading City of Bones and moving on to this book, it broke the hell out of me. For one, I'm glad that Jocelyn's out of Valentine's grasp and into a hospital, but still under a sleeping spell, Clary and Jace are brother and sister, but they don't love each other that way (which, to me, was disgusting as hell when they found out that they were siblings. Like you don't kiss your siblings like that) and then Simon...my sweet baby boy...he's slowly turning into vampire, and he and Clary are dating, but like an idiot (I'm sorry to all the Clary fans) she keeps going to Jace.

Also, the Inquisitor was scary as hell when the second Mortal Instruments were stolen-by Valentine himself, who went to the Silent City to get it, even visiting Jace when he was thrown in there. That scene made me think that he wanted to tell him something (and I think he did, I don't remember) and then Clary, Alec and Isabelle came to the Silent City when they got a warning signal to go check it out, and all of the Silent Brothers were dead, and Jace was still in his cell, telling them what happened.

Clary had a bright idea and took her stele and created a new rune that came from her mind, wanting to free Jace. And it did, burning the metal down so he could get out. But once they went outside, the Inquisitor and Maryse, the Lightwoods' mother, was there, and they took Jace away, I think they ignored Clary, and the Inquisitor put Jace in another box, thinking that she could trade him for the Mortal Instruments...

But can we take a little break and talk about Maia Roberts? I already love her already, even though her stupid-ass boyfriend turned her into a werewolf. She has the scars on her neck and she was a good friend to Simon, even though he turned into a vampire and wanted to kill him at first. But then when the both of them got captured by Valentine and the fear demon, that hurt me so damn much-mostly because I was worried about them and hoped that they could get saved.

Then Valentine killed my son..and I wanted to rage SO BAD at him. Like why must you kill Simon though? He's a innocent boy-vampire-and you just killed him. But thank god that in the end, Clary blew up the ship, Simon drank Jace's blood and started walking in the sun now, and also my ship, Malec, had their date.

Oh and also Magnus had to watch Jace for a while. It was hilarious. Makes me want to stay over Magnus's place to read and party. I stan a Magnus Bane, okay??

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Book Review: You Know You Love Me, a Gossip Girl Novel by Cecily von Ziegesar

You Know You Love Me by Cecily von Ziegesar
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Book 2....book 2, book 2, book 2.

This book right here....and I finished it tonight at a party....wow.

First off, Blair wants to desperately lose her virginity to her boyfriend, Nate, and had tried everything to do it, but they kept getting interrupted-once in book one with the announcement of Serena coming back to town, and also because of her mother's announcement of getting married to Cyrus Rose on her birthday. Yeah Blair was mad as hell-it was her birthday, not their day-and she wanted to sleep with Nate so bad, until she saw him kissing Jenny-oh, I'm sorry, not Jenny Jennifer-and couldn't believe it. Because ONCE AGAIN, Blair keeps seeing herself in a movie starring her and as Serena said in the show, she's the only one watching it and Serena has to be the one to wake her up. Oh and also she went to Yale and screwed up her interview, and kissed her interviewee on the cheek.

Secondly, Serena and Dan...WHY THE HELL AREN'T Y'ALL GETTING TOGETHER?? Dan, the tortured soul, has a huge crush on Serena, and thought she was perfect for the part of Natasha in Vanessa's film. But no, thanks to Vanessa, she choose someone else instead of Serena. And the trip to Brown? Dan why the hell did you go anyway? To be with Serena, even when she invited Nate and his stoner friends to come with y'all? And then you had that panic attack during your interview and walked out....good lord, boy, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? And then you and Vanessa got together, even though that's nice.

And then Serena and Blair made up in the bathroom and now they're friends...but for how long? Hopefully for good this time.

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Book Review: Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar

Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Once upon a time, back when I was in the tenth/eleventh grade, I picked up a book that looked interesting to me called Gossip Girl, called Nothing Can Keep Us Together and I absolutely loved it-loved it enough that I wanted to buy the whole entire book series and read it all. Fast Forward to now and I picked this book up again, starting with the first book, and I fell in love with it all over again after starting to watch the show on Netflix again. So if you're here for the first time and never ever heard of this book, then lemme tell you what's it's about.

It's about a group of people who lives on the Upper East Side of NYC and goes to the schools of Constance Billard, St. Judes and Riverside Prep who's lives are being watched and read about on a gossip site called Gossip Girl-and yeah it's like the show, but it's totally, totally different and the same at the same time.

For one, Blair and Nate are together, but once Serena van der Woodsen comes back from boarding school, everything changes. Nate tells Blair that he and Serena slept together, and then Blair made him promise NEVER to speak to Serena ever again. Yeah right, Blair, like that's gonna happen. The Chuck and Jenny thing happened as well at the Kiss on the Lips party, and Serena and Dan saved her.

Oh yeah, remember Dan and Jenny Humphries? Yeah, they're in the book too-Jenny is the lame ninth grader who wants to be in with the older kids, and Dan's still lonely boy, but all except he has hair, smokes a lot, and drinks a bunch of coffee, and yes, he's a tortured soul in the book. Oh and Vanessa's in the book too, but she's a clean shaven girl who actually goes to Constance and wants to be a film director in the books (and also in the show).

I also came up with a silly little rhyme each time I saw Chuck Bass (in the books and on TV):

If you wanna punch Chuck Bass in the face, clap your hands
If you wanna punch Chuck Bass in the face, clap your hands
If you really hate Chuck and you really wanna show it
Punch Chuck Bass in the face

….needs a little work but it rhymes...right??

I love this book and I truly do recommend this book series so much.


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